A Hobbit's Wedding
by piptook
Summary: You may have heard of Marigold Cotton, and as you may also know, she is getting married soon, so as my wedding present to her, I wrote her a story about her wedding, LOTR style. It's very nonsensical, so enjoy! And congrats to Marigold!


"You may now kiss the bride." Pippin clapped and cheered along with the other hobbits as one of his life long friends, Lesley became Mrs. Cotton. He loved this particular wedding for two reasons: one, his friend could finally marry the man she loved and live happily ever after, and two, he got to see his cousin Merry after being away for two days(which was, for Merry and Pippin a considerably LONG time!)!

The wedding festivities began with the cutting of an enormous cake Mary Proudfoot had made especially for the occasion. Lesley and her husband sliced the first piece to much applause and cheering, and then each hobbit was given a slice of the delicacy.

"Enjoying yourself?" Pippin spun around to see the bride smiling at him.

"Lesley!" He gave her an enormous hug, "I am enjoying myself, immensely. But, tell me, do you know of any occasion that would merit such an excellent party?" He mocked concentration, "It's not like there's anything special going on!"

"You cheeky Took!" She hit him playfully on the arm.

"Ouch! I was only kidding!" Pippin smiled, rubbing his already bruising arm "Congratulations though Lesley! I'm so happy for you, and I wasn't kidding when I said this was an excellent party." He nodded to the party-goers; some were eating, chatting, but mostly drinking.

"Well, I am glad you like it." She grinned, "Nothings' gone wrong yet, which I assume can only be a bad thing knowing you and Merry. You two would NEVER pass up such a wonderful opportunity to create so much havoc!"

Pippin attempted looking insulted, "How dare you! We would never cause trouble!" He snorted, trying to hold back his laughter, "Alright I confess, Merry and I DO have something planned for this evening, but don't you worry, it's nothing bad!" He grinned.

"Now, why do I have trouble believing that!" She laughed, "Well, I'm sorry to leave you, but it seems my first dance with my new husband is about to begin. I'll see you later!"

"Try and not step on his feet!" Pippin called after her retreating back, laughing loudly.

"Well, if it isn't the exact Took I was looking for!" Merry ran up to his cousin, gave him a huge hug, then lowered his voice, "When should we do it?"

"Right after their first dance, that way we'll still be sober enough to remember the whole thing!"

"Fat chance, I don't think we're ever sober!" Merry grinned

"Too true!" They both burst out laughing "Where though?"

"I say over there on that center table" Merry pointed to the middle of the party, "We don't want anyone to miss it!"

"Right then, let's go!"

As the song ended, bringing along with it the end of the first dance of the bride and groom, Merry and Pippin both hopped up on the table, pints of ale in hand, and shouted over all the noise "Excuse us, but we have a gift we would like to present to the lovely bride and groom!"

Lesley groaned "Oh no, what have they gotten into this time!"

Her husband, John Doe, took her hand and kissed it "Come now, let them have a little fun, it is a party after all."

"Yes, but with Merry and Pippin, you can never have just a little fun."

Her husband sighed, but agreed with her, nodding "All the same, it would be rude to ignore gifts, would it not?" He smiled his dazzling smile, pulling her towards the table "Lesley, you know you want to!"

"Oh all right!" She raised her voice a little so that everyone else could hear her, "The bride and groom would be honored to receive your gift!" She giggled, attempting to act very proper and aloof. John pulled her towards him and the table, "How do you always convince me of anything? Even allowing the two terrors of the Shire to do what they like at my wedding!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear "You must be very charming Master Cotton!"

"I guess your right Madame Cotton, otherwise I would never be able to woo the heart of such a beautiful lady!" He wrapped his arms around her waist as they reached the table.

"Indeed you are! One of the reasons why I love you so!" She pecked him on the cheek, then turned her attention to the two trouble makers on the table. "We're ready to receive your gift master hobbits."

"What sort of package should we expect from these loons?" John grinned at the pair.

"Well, it's not in a package!" Pippin grinned and took a swig from his pint

"No? What is it then?" John laughed, whatever these pranksters had planned, he could tell it was going to be good.

"No, instead it's a song Pip and I wrote." Merry supplied helpfully

"A song!" Lesley laughed, "Let's hear it then!"

Pippin and Merry looked at each other for a moment then simultaneously burst into song, skipping and dancing on the table as they sang:

"Oh you can search far and wide,

You can date the whole town dry,

But you'll never find a love so pure,

But you'll never find a love so pure,

As the one 'tween Lesley and John I'm sure!

As the one 'tween Lesley and John I'm sure!

You can date your fancy girls,

You can date them by the bushel,

But the only love for the good at heart…

Comes from John and Lesley!"

The crowd cheered it's approval, Lesley and John both laughing and cheering along with them.

"And the show's not over good hobbits!" Merry took another swig of ale before he and Pippin began their second song, still dancing and skipping 'round the table.

"Hey ho to the wedding we go!

Of fair Lesley Cotton and brave John Doe!

Ale will be drunk, many songs'll be sung,

We'll make this last…the whole night long!

Sweet is the love that they both share,

The rest of us wish you well and care!

The ceremonies over, its all done,

Now onto the party, onto the fun!"

They jumped off the table to more loud cheers and applauses from the guests.

"That was excellent you two!" Lesley was laughing so hard, she was having trouble speaking.

"Why thank you milady!" Merry said, he and Pippin attempted a bow, but ended up a heap of hobbit on the ground.

"Enjoy the rest of the party!" They both waved as the couple walked away, back towards the dance floor.

"Do you think they liked it?" Pippin asked, helping Merry to his feet.

"Oh, I think they loved it!" He grinned, "Let's go enjoy this party, shall we?"

Enjoy it they did. The party eventually, and sadly, came to an end at four-thirty the next morning, by which time the songs had been sung so many times, everyone knew the lyrics. Ask any hobbit who had been present, and they would all agree that it was the best wedding in the history of the Shire.


End file.
